Jane's Story

The Engagement Party - Coach Your Characters

This is a light-hearted experiment to see if I can create a story concept by fictionally coaching newly-invented characters, and making notes using what I’ve learnt. Through the conversation with the coach we will learn what the character wants from a recent situation or their life. Hopefully, some interesting challenges and secrets will be uncovered.

This experiment may prove valuable. It may fail. I wonder if I’ll find it challenging to get under the skin of characters I’ve only just met. Whatever happens, I’m interested to find out.

The Coaching Session

Jane (from number sixteen), who was coached last week with her husband, comes back to the fictional coaching room alone. This session is after Carrie goes missing. 

The coaching session has already started.

JANE: There were things I didn’t say last week - things I didn’t want my husband to know.

COACH: But you want me to know?

JANE: Yes, I need to talk to someone who isn’t going to judge me for what I did.

COACH: What did you do?

JANE: I know one of the men who was going in and out of next door. He was a decorator working in a house up the street. This was a few years back - quite a few years back. One day I was carrying my shopping home and one of the bags split and the contents spilled everywhere. Apples and tins of tuna were rolling down the street. Adam saw and helped me collect everything up. That’s how we first got chatting. He was working at that house for a few months. We got really friendly - too friendly. [Pause.] He’s my son’s father. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I thought I would take that secret to my grave. The thing is - I know Adam wouldn’t hurt anyone. He can’t have abducted that woman. He can’t have. I get that I only spent time with him for a few months which doesn’t give me the right to say I really knew him. But I don’t believe he wasn’t a bad person.

COACH: How does it feel to have shared this secret with me?

JANE: It’s such a relief to say it out loud, knowing that you’re not going to tell anyone. It sounds strange to hear myself saying that Adam is my son’s father. It’s like it’s really true now.

COACH: And what impact does feeling like it’s really true now have for you?

JANE: It means I can’t keep pretending. There’s something that I can’t get out of my head, a question that I’ve been playing over in my mind. Do you believe that you can know someone and not see them for who they really are?

COACH: What do you believe? Can you know someone and not see them for who they really are?

JANE: I think I would know if someone was a bad person. People can lie but there are always signs. I catch my husband lying sometimes - about where he’s going, who he’s meeting. But I can tell because he’s my husband, and I know him. Like when he told me he was going on a work trip, but I found out he was really taking a woman on a weekend to Paris. I didn’t confront him. I didn’t have any proof at first, and then I wanted to see what else he lied about. Carrie her name was. I didn’t know it then, but bizarrely I saw her photo on the news the other day. She’s gone missing. I didn’t see my husband for who he was until he had the affair. But that isn’t the same as finding out that someone who you never suspected was a bad person. I think I would know.

COACH: So, you believe you would know if a person was bad inside.

JANE: Yes, but what if I’m not being honest with myself? What if I don’t want to admit that Adam hurt someone. What if I don’t want to admit that the father of my son has bad genes? What if I’m afraid that believing that Adam is bad means that my son may not be all good either?

Coaching session continues.

Writer’s Notes: 

Thoughts

• Jane’s thoughts are primarily out of concern about whether her son may have picked up bad genes from his father. What parallels would there be in the story, questioning who a person is because of genes they have picked up from their parents?

• What specific scenes could be in the story to work with the theme of not seeing a person for who they really are?

• Jane says her husband Tommy had an affair with Carrie? Is it a coincidence? How does this fit in with the story?

• Does Tommy know more about what happened at number sixteen than he’s letting on?

The Story

Working title: The Engagement Party

Basic storyline: Bobby’s fiancée Carrie disappears. He spends the novel looking for her. In the process he uncovers secrets from Carrie’s past. This is a story about finding out who Carrie is. We find this out via stories told from people who knew her. But which ones are true and which ones are false?

Status quo / Beginning: Bobby lives with his girlfriend Carrie. They are both in their thirties. They’ve been in a relationship for about ten years. At the start of the novel Bobby proposes to Carrie and she says yes.

Inciting incident: Carrie goes missing at her engagement party. Directly before she goes missing she is seen talking to her ex-boyfriend (Liam). We need to understand why they are still in contact/friends. No strong reason for them staying in touch seems likely currently.

Developments: To include:

• Guests at the engagement party are Liam, Tasha, other friends and family, including Carrie’s mum and dad, and Bobby’s dad, Carrie’s sister. There is conflict around some of the family secrets and tense relationships.

• During party, Carrie and Bobby argue about kids - Carrie says Bobby is lying and he doesn’t want kids. She says her mum didn’t want kids and she doesn’t want that situation for their children. Carrie’s father overhears the argument.

• Bobby’s mum is estranged and isn’t invited to the party. (Added this because Bobby didn’t mention his mum during his session, so this seems like a good way to add some conflict.)

• After Carrie’s disappearance, start with a scene in which we first think Carrie has voluntarily left - we first think she’s having an affair with Liam and has changed her mind about the engagement to Bobby. We hear a conversation between Carrie’s mum (Maggie) and Carrie’s sister (Nina) which leads us to think Carrie has left Bobby and gone into hiding.

• PC Walker interviews Liam (Carrie’s ex boyfriend) who tells them running away is usual for Carrie, that Carrie loved to run off and spent time with ex-boyfriends.

• Jade (police officer) interviews Carrie’s mum, Maggie, and it becomes clear that the police are not taking the disappearance seriously.

• Then have scenes which make us think Carrie has been taken. I wonder where the clues for her being taken will come from?

• At a stressful point in the search, have Bobby’s mum show up wanting to build a relationship with her son. Bobby initially rejects her.

• As Carrie is coming across as someone who has a lot playing on her mind, she may work well as the narrator - 1st person narrative - to show her thoughts. Consider having the first half of the novel as a 1st person narrative narrated by Bobby, and the second half of narrative narrated by Carrie.

• Also consider Jade (police officer) as narrator.

• Perhaps have a scene in the later part of book between Carrie and Tasha. Tasha knew where Carrie was all along. But why? And why are they in contact? Or at some point, hint that Tasha may have done something bad to Carrie and Tasha is involved in her disappearance.

• Perhaps there could be conflict between Bobby and Nina (Carrie’s sister) with Bobby thinking Liam (ex-boyfriend) has done something to Carrie and Nina trying to persuade Bobby that Liam is a good guy.

• Perhaps Nina (Carrie’s sister) gets the job at the radio station. She could deliver a message on the radio to try to track down Carrie. Or perhaps Nina has a show that includes a callers slot. Someone calls in and says something about her sister Carrie that uncovers a mystery.

• We see scenes in which there are lots of suspicious comings and goings to and from what looks like an abandoned house. The postman delivers a letter and thinks he hears a woman calling for help from inside. A neighbour gets a ladder and they rescue her. We ask, ‘Is this or isn’t this Carrie?’

• Jade (police officer) interviews the woman who has been locked up was found in number 16. She establishes that the woman isn’t Carrie. She suspects Carrie was in the house with her in the past few weeks. This is because the woman states that she heard a woman saying in her sleep, “I’m sorry, Bobby. I didn’t mean to.” We later find out that the woman wasn’t abducted and that Adam was helping her to disappear from her life. But we don’t know that at this point.

• The abductors send Jane and Tommy (from number 16) threats, saying if they speak to the police they will kill them. Tommy has already spoken to the police. But doesn’t speak to them again.

• Jane (from number 16) goes to meet Adam, one of the alleged abductors, and the father of her son. Jane quizzes Adam, wanting to find out if he is essentially a good or bad person. She wants to rid herself of concerns that her son may have ‘bad genes’. Adam eventually tells her that he has been helping women disappear.

• Adam helps Carrie get a new identity and leave the area. We perhaps find this out after the fact - much later in the story.

Coach Your Characters

Is there a character in your story you would like to ask the following questions to?

1. Tell me about a time when you weren’t honest with yourself.

2. What impact did this have?

3. Tell me about a time when you found out someone wasn’t who they appeared to be.

4. What happened next?

If you would like to try coaching your own fictional characters from work in progress, you may use this post as inspiration. I also offer a journal to subscribers with ideas of how to coach your fictional characters. When you subscribe, you’ll find a link to the journal in the welcome email.  

I offer coaching to writers who want to get back on track. Sessions may include conversations to help you focus, work through blocks and create a supportive writing routine. You can find out more about the coaching I offer here.  

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